I used to have a fear of the unknown. And because of this fear, I had an internal dialogue that ran through my mind on a loop, much like a Hot 97 mixtape. (Straight from the boombox tape recorder, yo.) I talked myself into applying for and accepting jobs that I didn’t desire because the little voice inside my head convinced me that there was no other choice. I ignored red flags and relationship dealbreakers because I was afraid of being a single woman. I did it over and over again. I continued replaying these terrible songs on a loop. I made unhealthy and unaligned life decisions because I needed to control outcomes. “I got no patience, and I hate waiting” (thanks Jay-Z) so I “put the needle on the record” (circa: M/A/R/R/S) to speed things up. If you’re tracking with me and this is resonating, keep reading to learn how to stop fearing the unknown.
Step 1 on how to stop fearing the unknown: check yourself.
The first step is to admit that you are afraid of what’s to come and that you feel uncertain about the future. Here’s a checklist to identify if you’re moving through life with a fear of the unknown:
- You’re obsessed with figuring out what will happen next.
- You calculate your every move and decision and sometimes even map out next steps on a poster board.
- You brainstorm various scenarios to calculate your next move.
- You rehearse conversations in your mind.
- You’re obsessed with tarot and psychic readings because you want specific details about what will happen next in your life. And you go often.
- You seek answers from the Bible, flipping and stopping at pages to find a sign within Psalms.
- You watch preachings hoping God speaks to you and tells you what to do.
- You try to control outcomes by pushing people for answers and pushing people to act.
If this resonates, you’re in danger, girl! It’s time to evolve from a fear-based thinking and into intuitive decision-making.
How to Stop Fearing the Unknown
Don’t allow your fears to become your reality. Challenge them instead! Ask yourself, is this really a fear or am I just triggered? Another great question, especially if you are afraid to take risks due to the unknown is, “What’s the worst that can happen?”
Take it one day at a time! Instead of shaking your fear off like a Taylor Swift song, take baby steps. Pinpoint your fears day by day and conquer them one by one. You don’t have to be perfect! Unlearning fearful mindsets is a marathon, not a race.
Journal. It’s a simple practice but writing down your thoughts on why you fear the unknown will help you uncover the core issues. The Magic of Mindset journal is super helpful as it guides you to get unstuck in order to shift your mindset.
Affirm away the fear. If you believe in manifestation and the law of assumption, then you believe in mantras and affirmations. Affirm your fear away by repeating, “I am not afraid of anything,” “I am safe,” or even “my future is secure.” Create whatever affirmation feels right to you and repeat it daily. Eventually, your subconscious mind and thoughts will soothe your fears.
Pull an oracle card. Oracle cards won’t predict what will happen next. They are a nice bridge to connecting with your intuition. Ask them questions for your highest good. Use them to help you become more in tune with your instincts and your heart so you can start making intuitive-based decisions. I recommend the Moonology Oracle cards and The Spirit Animal Oracle cards.
Speak to God. It may seem like an oxymoron to suggest Oracle cards and prayer, but I believe you can do both. As I said previously, Oracle cards are a tool to tap into your intuition when blocked. Speaking to God is another vehicle.
In the past, I did struggle with believing you can use both strategies, mostly because Christianity teaches that divination tools are a sin. However, as a Latina of African and indigenous descent, I can’t help but wonder what my beliefs would be today if my ancestors weren’t colonized. With colonization came forced Christianity. They had no choice but to practice it lest be killed. So, as much as I believe in God (a higher power), I also believe there are other ways to heal and worship.
Seek support. You can go to a therapist and/or speak to a friend to ease your fears. Remember that you do not have to do this alone.
Read great books. My Friend Fear is not only aesthetically pleasing, but it’s also an excellent source to help you move past the fear of the unknown. The book holds a mix of personal reflections and asks readers insightful questions to reflect on fear.
As for me, I have finally learned how to remain present and now make decisions that align with my authentic self and my needs and desires. I am in a place emotionally and mentally, and I owe it a lot to manifestaions and writing. That’s the last tip I’ll throw at you: find a hobby or passion that keeps you in the now. Pour your energy into it and watch your life transform. Trust me when I say (and Sheryl Crow sings), “a change will do you good.”