Wake up and put on some Usher, baby. It may just be what you need to get you in the mood for sex. 

Or not. Let’s face it: you may need a little more to boost your libido, especially after a long day of work, kids, and adulting (Ugh! Remember the days of morning sex because you didn’t have to get up at the crack of dawn!). Although a sexy, lovemaking playlist is my go-to for sexy time, some women need more than a little R&B to turn them on. 

get you in the mood for sex
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

According to a study, women don’t enjoy sex as much as men do and experience orgasms way less due to, well, being a woman! Our glorious clitoris isn’t always played with. Sometimes it’s even rubbed the wrong way (too rough, man!). 

7 Things to Get You in the Mood for Sex

Don’t fret, ladies: we can turn this around! You can have an amazing sex life and always be in the mood. Here are some things that you and your lover can do to get you in the mood for sex.

Feel beautiful

Women always feel sexier when they feel desired. If your partner isn’t telling you that you are beautiful and/or showering you with compliments, speak up. Communicate your need to be admired. 

Need to feel more beautiful just on your own to get in the mood for sex? Dress up every day. Put on your favorite lipstick. Do what has always made you feel like a Goddess – before kids, before your man, before aging or weight gain. And do it just for you. When we think we look good, we feel good. Build up your confidence by taking time out of your day every day to beautify. I choose to get dressed up every day and put on lipstick and mascara even though I work from home. This is now part of my daily routine because I feel extra gorgeous, extra confident, and extra desirable. 

Once you feel like a sexy Goddess, slip into a nightie, negligee, or kinky two-piece. Rock whatever makes you feel most comfortable and secure. Put on your outfit, strut your stuff, and get ready for some sexy time. 

Explore fantasies

Women rarely share their sexual needs and fantasies. And that’s a problem! How will your lover ever know how to satisfy you if you don’t share what turns you on? 

If the idea of speaking about what turns you on intimidates you, make it a game. This game, NAME, is perfect to explore sexual fantasies and get to know each other on a more intimate level. 

Still too shy? Help him hit the spot by telling him one thing you’d want to try. Just one small fantasy. It can be something as easy as trying a new sexual position or bringing a vibrator into your bed. I recommend this one. (It’s amazing!) 

Once you’ve cracked that door wide open, make this a part of your sexy time conversation. But make it fun! Take a bowl and write down all of your sexual fantasies (make sure he writes some down also). Every time you want to spice up your sex life and get in the mood for sex, pick a piece of paper from the bowl and get to pleasing! But, of course, make sure you both consent to the sexual fantasy. 

Extra fun tip: write down a sexual fantasy on a sheet of paper and leave it on his pillow. This will encourage him to initiate sex and create the setting you desire to be satisfied sexually.

Be affectionate

Rarely is a woman turned on just like that. We need to be caressed and touched. Tell your partner to be more affectionate. Ask for a massage to get you in the mood. Caress him slowly with the tips of your fingertips, moving from his clavicle, down to his chest and belly button and, eventually, his penis. This will set the mood for lovemaking. 

Masturbate in front of him

You know your body. You know what revs you up. Use that first-hand knowledge to get you in the mood for sex! 

Sometimes our partners need us to guide them, especially since all women are different. What turned his ex on may not be what works for you. So, instead of waiting for him to play with your clitoris, touch yourself. Masturbate in front of him to turn him on and teach him how to please you. Let him watch. Don’t let him touch just yet.

If you can’t fathom touching yourself in front of your man, masturbate alone. Because you should be masturbating anyway! It’s really healthy for you and a great way to understand your body and your sexual hot spots. When you’re ready, call him into the bedroom so you can keep the party going. 


Use technology to your advantage and sext your lover throughout the day. That way you’re both enticed and will rip each other’s clothes off when finally face to face. 

Afraid to show a boob over text and for him to keep a record of it forever? Use an app like Snapchat where images and videos are deleted after 24 hours. You can also send a DM on Instagram on vanish mode. Just make sure you don’t send a boob selfie to your best friend. 

A little drinky drinky

Alcohol is known to loosen joints and unleash inhibitions. So drink a glass of wine (or two) to warm you up and get you in the mood for sex. Soon, your cheeks will be flushed, your legs will begin to wobble and you’ll be extra flirty and open. Let’s just hope your partner is just as ready!

Read erotica

Grab your favorite sexy novel and get to reading underneath the sheets. 

Erotica is known to turn women on, and it’s even sexier when you read the prolific and often pornographic prose to your lover. Lay back, relax, and lose yourself in the throes of a good erotic story. Your partner can even play with your cuca while your favorite fictional character gets it in. Now that’s sexy.